I got a lot of messages in my inbox about my MRA posts the other day. Several of them brought up the issue of men who are raped by women.
So, ok, let’s talk about rape, sexism, and whatnot.
We’ll start with a quiz:
Which one teaches that men are incapable of being raped?
- Institutionalized sexism backed up by society through generations of tradition, culture, and laws
Answer: Number 1.
See, it’s sexism that teaches that men are incapable of being raped because it’s sexism that teaches us that men always want sex and are ruled by their physical desires. One of the reasons that male rape victims have a hard time talking about what happened to them is because when they do, they are not taken seriously.
Look at cases where older women in positions of authority ( teachers, bosses, etc. ) take advantage of the men/boys they are supposed to be supervising ( students, employees, etc. ). When these stories come out I usually see comments from lots of dudes along the lines of, “Man, I wish my teacher back in jr. high had tried to fuck me!” “Why is this guy complaining? He hit the jackpot!” “This isn’t rape, this is awesome!”
Even other men are oblivious to the fact that they are being hurt by sexism. They are being taught that they can’t be raped because men are inherently sexual all the time and are always happy to receive sexual attention. Sexism teaches us that all men would be happy to have a woman force herself onto them. Sexism teaches us that men cannot be abused or be victims, because sexism teaches us that these things don’t happen to men.
Feminism does not teach this. Feminism teaches us that consent needs to be given often and enthusiastically by all parties involved. Feminism teaches that men are capable of not being ruled by their erections and sexual desires and therefore teaches not only that men are capable of not raping people, but also that they can be victims as well.
So for all of those people who want to discuss this issue? You need to understand and accept that the root of the problem is not feminism, “reverse sexism”, or misandry ( Which isn’t really thing because we do not live in a society where women have power privilege over men which leads to men being disenfranchised, devalued, viewed as lesser,and denied equal rights and opportunity.). I cannot take you seriously or have an honest discussion with you about this topic if you cannot first acknowledge that all rape is, at it’s very core, a problem caused by institutionalized sexism and misogyny.
This is why I hate the term “Men’s Rights Activism” being used when discussing this issue. Because it shifts the focus away from the real problem. If you really want to fight for male victims of rape and sexual abuse, then you need to be working with feminists, WOC, trans* individuals and not against them. You are not an MRA if you want to stop people from being raped. You are a Victim’s Rights Activist, because the issue of men being raped is not a separate issue from women and trans* individuals being raped. They are caused by the same thing: Sexism and misogyny.
The lie of the “Justice” system is that it’s there to protect white people. This is a fallacy. One that will one day, sooner rather than later, come back to haunt you. The “Justice” system is there, not to protect white people but to protect white people from being punished. (In addition to making massive profits of course) White people, both those who work to be non-racist as well as those who don’t, might take some comfort in knowing that in most cases, they don’t have to worry about the police. Often, they have no reason to think about the system at all. The part so many of you seem to be forgetting is that while some of you will read about the Prison Industrial Complex and others will absorb statistic after statistic that says Black people are unfairly targeted, given higher incarceration rates and longer sentences for the same or lessor crimes, you haven’t thought about what that means for you personally.
While your skin color may work in your favor as far as jail time goes, being a victim of white-on-white crime, is quite the opposite. 96% of all rapes are committed by white men. Yet, 80% of rape inmates are Black. This means most male rapists are walking free. Free to rape again, simply because of the color of their skin. Now, add that to the fact that most crime, is intraracial and not interracial and you have white on white homicide at 86%. White on white homicide is slightly lower than Black on Black homicide but remember, Black people are getting sent to jail these days for breathing. White people are being given less than a slap on the wrist for even vicious crimes.
If you are white, not only should you be angry that criminals with your skin tone aren’t getting punished, you should be terrified that criminals of your skin tone will find you.
When I saw this video on hulu. I CRIED. just sat and cried. a beautiful beautiful video.
Here’s the video!! Please please watch this.
crying. crying. crying.
#safetytipsforladies: A hashtag about how tired women are of being told to do stupid, ineffective, unrealistic things to avoid being raped.
“try becoming Medusa, or if that is too difficult, a basilisk.”
WHAT THE HELL
I found too many things about people — teens especially — only realizing that not saying no does not equal a yes once they’re told.
So I made a thing.
I’m so sorry if I did something wrong, I’m not 110% sure what I’m doing, so I’m almost scared to post this, but…
Sign here, if you’re interested.
Signed and passed it on to FB and Twitter. This is a cause worth spreading about.
Reform for sex education is BIG DEAL and that includes teaching people what consent is and means!
Okay, so that’s definitely something that would help. Go and sign it.
from Medusa and the Female Gaze by Susan Bowers (via terrestrial)
I’ve always been frustrated with how Medusa is portrayed as ‘evil’ in every fictional portrayal of her that I’ve seen
I mean she doesn’t go around turning people to stone for fun. She’s a rape victim who Athena cursed to turn people to stone for the terrible crime of…being assaulted in her temple
I kind of want to see a film where Medusa kills Perseus and proceeds to go on an amazing revenge spree against the Greek gods with the other Gorgons and basically fucks up ALL of their stuff
In my head it’s basically Greek myth meets Kill Bill
Basically the story of Medusa and how she was cursed is the ultimate case of victim-blaming. Think about it in context to the whole “if you were skimpy clothes you can blame yourself for being raped”-thing. Medusa did not act “proper” aka “protecting herself against male instincts” and therefore she was to blame for the rape. And with such behaviour Athena was furious that she even dared to enter the temple when she was in constant danger of getting raped. This is basically an old caution tale for women of the time to not attract rapists. Ugh.
I think any idea that Greek mythology isn’t misogynistic flew out the window around the time Zeus turned into a swan to rape a lady. Or into a bull to rape a lady. Or into “golden rain” to rape a lady. Or the time the gods turned a nymph into a tree just to mess with Apollo, who was chasing her to rape her. Or the billion-and-a-half other times ladies get raped by gods and heroes and animals and monsters.